Something Good for Today: December 2009

Thursday, December 24, 2009

The Origin of Snow

With thanks to Cathy K. on the House Mouse group :)

The Origin Of Snow

When the angels sweep out heaven,
Bits of dust drop down below;
And as they fall upon us,
They become little flakes of snow.

So, if the snowfall's very light,
Though we know it comes from God,
The angels must be doing then,
A spit and polish job.

But if the snowfall's fast and furious,
And seems to be unending,
Then major cleaning's taking place,
And a blizzard is descending.

Thus, the kind of cleaning angels do,
Determines winter weather,
And softly floating snowflakes,
Means they're dusting with a feather.

But if the snow is thick and heavy,
And cold winds blow across the sound,
That spells heavy duty cleaning,
And they are moving clouds around.

The Twelve Days of Christmas

Ever wonder about the meaning behind this carol? Well wonder no more.

From 1558 until 1829, Roman Catholics in England were

not permitted to practice their faith openly. Someone

during that era wrote this carol as a catechism song for young Catholics.

It has two levels of meaning: the surface meaning

plus a hidden meaning known only to members of their church. Each

element in the carol has a code word for a religious reality

which the children could remember.

-The partridge in a pear tree was Jesus Christ.

-Two turtle doves were the Old and New Testaments.

-Three French hens stood for faith, hope and love.

-The four calling birds were the four gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke & John.

-The five golden rings recalled the Torah or Law, the first five books of the Old Testament.

-The six geese a-laying stood for the six days of creation.

-Seven swans a-swimming represented the sevenfold gifts of the Holy Spirit--Prophesy, Serving, Teaching, Exhortation, Contribution, Leadership, and Mercy.

-The eight maids a-milking were the eight beatitudes.

-Nine ladies dancing were the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit--Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self Control.

-The ten lords a-leaping were the ten commandments.

-The eleven pipers piping stood for the eleven faithful disciples.

-The twelve drummers drumming symbolized the twelve points of belief in the Apostles' Creed.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

My Mother Taught Me

**I Owe My Mother**

**************************************

1. **_My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE _**. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. **_My mother taught me RELIGION_**. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet.."

3. **_My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL_**. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. **_My mother taught me LOGIC_**. " Because I said so, that's why."

5. **_My mother taught me MORE LOGIC_** . "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. **_My mother taught me FORESIGHT_**. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. **_My mother taught me IRONY_**. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. **_My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS _**. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. **_My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM_**. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. **_My mother taught me about STAMINA_** . "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. **_My mother taught me about WEATHER_**. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. **_My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY_**. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. **_My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE_**.. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. **_My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION _**. "Stop acting like your father!"

15. **_My mother taught me about ENVY_**. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. **_My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION_**. "Just wait until we get home."

17. **_My mother taught me about RECEIVING _**. "You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. **_My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE_**. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. **_My mother taught me ESP_**. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. **_My mother taught me _HUMOUR.** "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. **_My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT _**. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. **_My mother taught me GENETICS_**. "You're just like your father."

*23. **_My mother taught me about my ROOTS_**. "Shut that door behind you... Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. **_My mother taught me WISDOM_**. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. **_My mother taught me about JUSTICE _**. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Friday, December 18, 2009

Someone Has Way Too Much Free Time

Thursday, December 17, 2009

The Middle Wife

I have to wonder if the child's mother knew 1) she took the pillow to school and 2) was going to perform:

The middle Wife' by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher :

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best "birth" story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.

When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students.. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.

She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.'

'First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.'

She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are
watching her in amazement.

'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)

'My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.' (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall)

'And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!' (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)

'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother.. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, (placenta) so there must be a lot of toys inside there. When he got out, the middle wife spanked him for crawling up in there.'

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another 'Middle Wife' comes along.